My Endo Journey begins: 39 days out til surgery!

Today July 3, 2013 marks 39 days out! The days are going past and I am still calm…I didn’t really expect this. I have had lots of anxiety up until a few days ago. I guess seeing that my surgery is 100% happening and being prepared has helped a lot. Now it’s just sit and wait it out!

I don’t have much to say today other than I feel like crap!! I have been getting the worst stomach pains. Like cramping in my intestines or deep in my bowels. The ability “to go” hasn’t come in nearly 8 days now. Boy does that suck!

My bowel issues are the one thing I hope to be able to say buh-bye to in a few days! I am hoping I will not need a bowel resection but if I do I am praying for no ostomy bag. My grandmother had one and I can tell you right now she suffered with it. It was by no means easy for her to go out or be more than 10 mins from a restroom to change her bag.

All in all if my surgeon believes that an ostomy bag or something similar is right for me then that is ok with me. I will not refuse or reject the best way to move on with my life.

All I can do right now is have faith and to pray that my surgeons will be able to help me!

Please pray for me at 11 am on Monday August 12th! ❤

My Endo Journey begins: 43 days out til surgery!

So today June 29th marks 43 days out til surgery! I am so freaking excited I added a countdown widget to the front of my Android Phone. Yep you read that right…it wasn’t enough that I blog about it day to day but I had to add a widget that counts down to the days/hours/minutes/seconds up until surgery! Call it what you will but it has helped to ease my mind quite a bit!

Any ways so today I woke up in not as much pain but I do still have some discomfort. It is mostly my back pain that hurts the most today. I think it has more to do with my bed needing to be replaced that my Endo or the Estrogen I am on. I do have scoliosis so I am sure that that combined with a hard/bumpy bed isn’t a great idea! Lately I have been extremely tired and falling asleep around 10 pm & waking around 10 am and still feeling tired! I know that it has a lot to do with my body not resting well.

Christina and I are still shopping for a few things for my home recovery post op. Things on our list for home recovery are sheets in a dark color in case I bleed from my incisions. As well as a new bed & pillows!  I have been on Amazon looking at Lucid memory foam beds today & I found an amazing bed. Now I just have to find the cash for it! : ) We have also been talking about getting new bedding and pillows. A friend of mine told me about nomorerack and we found some great 1600 count sheets for under $40…amazing steal! I am hoping to be able to afford to redo our entire room before surgery! If not tax time isn’t too far off and I can always ask for gift cards for Christmas: )

The only bummer about today is that a close friend of mine came into town from North Carolina for a day. The kicker here is that I was too sick to even say yes to going out with her. That is the only thing about Endo & Chronic Pain that really gets to me. The lack of a life that I get to live! It has been more than a year and a half since I have seen a bar or friends. Yes I get to chat with them online but you will never see me in photos with my friends having FUN. I mean what is fun again?!

This is exactly why these next 43 days can not go by any faster!

Bring on a better quality of life!

My Endo Journey begins: 45 days out til surgery!

Today is now June 27, 2013 which marks 45 days until surgery. So much took place yesterday mostly all emotional! I had a lot of pain & a few more things to purchase off of my Pre/Post Op Surgery list. I ended up getting some free Anti Gas pills from Walgreens so that has been checked off as well!

NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS!!! The good news is that my surgery & all procedures are now 100% covered! I am having a TOP surgeon at a TOP hospital perform surgery at no cost. I am so freaking excited and so grateful I could cry. Heck I almost did when I opened the letter from the Financial assistance department last night!

The fact that I would never otherwise be able to afford this is a blessing on its own. But this surgery could mean that I may never have another Endo episode in my life time. This surgery could be my freedom to be able to leave my house & not have to be bed ridden for days at a time. This can also mean that I can go back to work & do what I love again! It can mean that the financial & emotional stress in my life can be lessened! It could mean that my partner & I can go on dates again…you have no idea how much I miss dancing! : )

But also yesterday was really rough for me & my body. I woke up about 10 am and made breakfast for Christina(my partner) and I. Immediately after eating and taking my estrogen pill I got the WORST sharp stabbing pains in my left side. Kinda like someone was trying to pull out my ovary. Yes I know that sounds so lovely right?! But that is the best way I can describe it. I tried using my best friend….Mr. Heating Pad but no relief. I tried walking around and doing deep breaths…no relief. Finally after 43 days of no pain killers I had to take 2 Tylenol #3 to get the pain to stop. Even then the pain was only lessened and turned to a deep ache instead.

I am starting to think the estrogen pills to stop the Depo Provera bleeding has now increased my Endo & let it spread. I am sure they are in there having a ball & throwing parties now that they have a new supply of estrogen to eat & grow off of. I have about 8 more pills to take and I am hoping the increased pain subsides a bit but I would love if it stopped all together too!  I am doing much better today but I have not taken my estrogen yet so I am not sure what the day will end up being like.

I am counting the seconds until my surgery & the hopes that this will no longer be my life!

Anyone else experience increased pain on estrogen- Estradiol 1 mg? Did the pain decrease/stop after your last pill? I would love to hear your feed back!

My Endo Journey begins: Surgery scheduled for August 12th 2013

Update: I had my first surgery consult on June 6th at 3pm with Dr. Sinervo at The Center For Endometriosis Care. Many patients call it The CEC. 

I was extremely nervous on the way to my appointment. In between crazy thoughts of possibly losing a ovary during surgery or not being able to afford it at all. I was also in so much pain. My left side of my pelvis felt as if it wanted to jump out and run. Strong cramping and sharp shooting pains. The awesome part is that I had to walk…yes walk 15 mins from the Marta station to get there. Once I reached my appointment I met the awesome women at the front desk. Got my paper work started and took a seat. About 45 minutes later I was being called back to see Dr. Sinervo. My heart began to pound as if it wanted to come out of my chest. But my nervousness was all for nothing. He was so sweet and so concerned about my health. Which was so refreshing next to the usual docs that just questions your pain tolerance.

We went over my pains, symptoms and medications as well as my concerns. He answered all of my questions…well I only had one. But I am sure if I had more he would have easily answered them all. After we were done talking he recommended that we schedule surgery soon. He wants to do a Laparoscopy, Hysteroscopy, Chromotubation and a possible bowel resection. He strongly believes all of my bowel pains are from Endo on or in my bowels. I was completely calm until the words “bowel resection” came up. I just can not imagine waking up from surgery and being told my bowels had to be re-sectioned. I mean what could that mean for my every day life? But quickly I realized that I was in great hands. And that Dr. Sinervo would make sure I had the best bowel surgeon on hand to handle it if need be.

Shortly after that conversation I got my ultrasound. I found out that my left side has scarred ligaments and that could very well be why I have constant left side pains. He thinks I may have lots of Endo on the ligaments to my ovary as well as my uterus. Glad to know that my uterus and my ovaries look nice and healthy otherwise. My uterus is retroverted but he thinks that it may right itself over time so I am not too concerned. I am extremely relieved to now have a  reason as to why I am always in so  much pain in one area. I am hoping he can remove the scar tissue and Endo and it not return.

I was also relieved that my Chromotubation would be done while I would be under GA-general anesthesia. I have heard horror stories of that procedure feeling like your hoohah was on fire. I think I can live without that memory LOL. Also having the Hysteroscopy while under means I wouldn’t need two surgeries. All in all I am so excited to be having surgery and on my way to a possibly normal life without Endo running it. I am so grateful for everyone at The CEC and for the possibility to afford this procedure. They have been incredibly generous to me and I will never forget it.

Anyone ever have any of these procedures done? How are you now that you have recovered? Feel free to comment below if you have any questions as well.

xoxoxox

Sincerely,

This Endo Girl! ❤

Is life really as bad as it seems?

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I thought it was very important to remind myself that I am still living! So I decided to write a simple note to myself in hopes to snap out of the depression and anxiety.

“I may not be the healthiest individual or have the finest things. However I know the importance of appreciating the small things in life. There will always be someone in more pain than you, sadder than you, or even healthier than your or happier than you. You just have to take advantage of the life you were given and the cards you were dealt! Life could be worse but I also wouldn’t fight it if life decided to get a lot better”!

— feeling hopeful.

Hope this inspires you ladies to find the good in all of the hard times! ♥